Tag: mental health

What I Love Right Now

Ellie MaeLeave a comment

Back again with a famously sporadic post! I hope everyone has had a great start to 2024 and things are looking up.

I’ve been in Ireland just over a year now and feel pretty much settled. There are things that I would like to make blogging and working from home more feasible, like better internet and an actual PC. (Yes, I’d also like a bread maker, ice cream maker, record player, copious vinyls, and a weaving loom, but those are far less necessary.) In time, these things will come, to be sure.

There are some things that I am smitten with right now. They bring me joy, no matter how trivial seeming said joy is.

The Five Minute Journal

This journal has been around for awhile now. I’ve always enjoyed the idea of having a daily practice of jotting down things I am grateful for and how to make the most of each day. I’ve tried some sort of version of this, but haven’t been consistent. As I have a tendency to be somewhat flighty, scraps of paper get lost or I lose motivation. Having something that’s sole purpose is to ensure a daily self-care practice sitting next to my bed helps me find the consistency I need. The journal is visually appealing. A simple cream hardcover journal isn’t imposing and can sit anywhere inconspicuously.

Every day, you have the tasks of writing a few things. In the morning, you write what you are grateful for, what can make the day great, and an affirmation for the day. In the evening, it’s the highlights of the day and anything you learned that day. Super simple! The idea is to spend five minutes in the morning to set yourself up to enter the day with positivity and motivation, and five minutes in the evening to reflect on the positive and useful parts of the day.

So, yeah, while I might not be consistent every day, I still use it frequently as a tool to get my mind in a good space. I feel that it is a great tool for anyone looking for any kind of personal growth boost. It certainly helps me manage my mental health, and when my mental health is looked after, I can be a more productive and compassionate human being.

The Ordinary Natural Moisturizing Factors + HA

So, after working for a major beauty retailer for a decade, I became skincare savvy. Part of my charm is that I believe in treating beauty as a whole concept. Beauty absolutely comes from within. We are only as beautiful as how we experience the world. Kindness, compassion, and joy are extremely beautiful. With that, we can enhance our natural beauty with stuff we wear and put on our skin.

Something I’ve always stood by is affordable yet effective skincare. Yes, there are some products out there that can be on the pricey side and are worth every penny, and I love those select products. However, if I can find something that I use every day that works well and doesn’t hurt my bank account, I’m all for it. This is where this moisturizer comes into play.

The Ordinary’s Natural Moisturizing Factors + HA has been a staple for me for a few years now. I can slap it on and feel the moisture doing its job right away. As it has hyaluronic acid in it, it helps lock in moisture that my dry, sensitive skin needs. I use it for exactly what it is: to add moisture to my skin. Often, in the evenings, after I’ve let the moisturizer absorb, I’ll follow with a face oil.

This moisturizer is everything I have ever hoped for in a moisturizer. It does what it says it’s going to do, and for the standard 100ml that most moisturizers come in, it costs 15.50 Euros. On top of those key selling points, the product is also vegan and cruelty free. I feel safe knowing that I’m not putting any animal byproduct on my skin and no innocent animals had to endure senseless testing to ensure the product is safe.

The Comfort Book by Matt Haig

To be completely honest, everything Matt Haig has published fit in my favourites list. However, ‘The Comfort Book’ is something that will remain in my life. It is a small, sweet book, and I feel that anyone who feels their feelings deserves to have this book on hand. It is a collection of notes, stories, and lists, and was originally put together to serve as reminders for Matt Haig and his future self that life isn’t always dark and bleak. He kindly has offered this collection to the world, and I am very grateful that he has.

Photo by Fiona Dodd via Unsplash

Photo by Fiona Dodd on Unsplash

In keeping with my enjoyment of multiples of threes, I will leave you with these. And, hopefully, I’ll be back regularly to share other things I am enjoying!

Thank you for swinging by to check out a refreshed Ellie! I hope all is well out there. Be kind to yourselves and others.

Interested in supporting me & my creative endeavors? Please consider tipping me over at my Ko-Fi page. It is a safe, secure way of throwing a few bob my way. Any support is greatly appreciated! Thank you so much for considering supporting an artist.

Graceful Affirmation

Ellie MaeLeave a comment

To be honest, thesaurus.com was my friend for the title of this post. I wanted something other than Gratitude, because I’m sure I have a post with that title already.

Right now, across the United States, gratitude is everywhere. If you’ve walked past or into a grocery store, it’s there, maniacally staring you down. Thanksgiving is just another day (that leads into a feverish weekend) for companies to maximize profits. Said companies are grateful for Thanksgiving’s creation of Black Friday.

There’s a point to this post, I promise.

The very notion of Thanksgiving (as a US holiday) has always been lost on me. First, I am not American. Even after living in the States most of my life, the concept of devoting one lone day to giving thanks baffles me. Second, the fact kids are still taught a warped version of the roots of this “holiday” is annoying. Third, Thanksgiving probably wouldn’t exist if Puritanical colonists fled England because they wanted to seperate from the Church of England.

I’m going to ask questions that, I’m sure, hundreds of thousands (if not more) of US residents ask every year:
Why not give thanks every day?
Why market just one day and why have it lead into a day of unnecessary chaos?

Sure, I am grateful that I have worked jobs that result in having a Thursday off. There are far too many people who don’t get that luxury. (Thank you everyone who has to work on all Federal holidays! I see you.) I’m grateful that I’ve worked some jobs who have paid me to not work on Thanksgiving.

The thing is, I feel that a lot of people forget that daily gratitude is a wonderful act. And, I’m sure many of these people could afford to practice daily gratitude.

In every therapy experience I’ve had, gratitude is always something that is brought up. I’ve been told by each therapist that one of my strengths is my ability to be open with my gratitude. My parents instilled manners in my brother and I when we were very young, and I am so grateful they did. My maternal grandparents embodied gratitude and grace, which (I like to think) rubbed off on me. I say “thank you” without thinking all the time.

My journey with depression started when I was about 12. That’s when I started menstrating. The root of my depression is biochemical, and there are multiple ways I manage it. With a special blend of Lexapro, writing, yoga, reading, walking, lots of veggies, a high quality multivitamin, extra magnesium, and making daily mental list of what I am grateful for, I am able to feel not so lousy most days. Some days, the depression is the only thing I can focus on. But, recently, those days are few and far between. On those days, I struggle to find anything that fosters a sense of gratitude. At the end of the day, I make myself write down three things. The list often looks something like this:

  • I am grateful for time spent with Miss Cleo. (She is my roommate’s cat, and she’s loves me.)
  • I am grateful for my legs. They allow me to move freely.
  • I am grateful for parents who care about me.

Three simple things, right? With a list like this, I am genuinely honoring myself, as well as positive people in my life.

During my 37 and a bit years on this planet, I’ve finally accepted the fact that is incredibly important to honor myself everyday, even if I feel like complete sh*t. Dwelling in the depression isn’t healthy. Saying, “hey depression, I see you, however, I love myself,” allows for a healthy(ish) mindset. Being grateful to be alive is a simple way of reminding myself that today is one day. I might lounge around and not do much. I might muster up enough energy to do one load of laundry. I might walk the perimeter of the apartment complex. The most important of those things is recognizing my emotional state and thanking myself for getting through another day.

So, here’s my hope for everyone as the year comes to an end:
May we all continue to learn the value of gratitude. May we all take a moment each day to take a deep breath and be grateful for something, no matter how tiny or enormous. May we give thanks every day.

Little Things

Ellie MaeLeave a comment

We all have our little comforts in life. You know, those things that make your day just a little more doable and joyful. These can vary throughout a year, and they should, as change is good.

A few weeks ago, my therapist gave me a really simple task to do every day. This is something that a lot of people already do, whether it be in writing or through prayer or in conversation with people they share their lives with.

Write Down Everything You Are Grateful For That Day.

Super simple and easy, right?

I started off with a bang. For a week, I made a note of things that I was grateful for. Of course, the habit didn’t stick. But, I have been taking gratitude mental notes everyday! Not an entirely wasted task to do.

But, this blog post is about little things that make me happy, therefore are worthy of gratitude. Enjoy the ride!

Hourglass Caution Extreme Mascara
Yes, sure, this is a beauty product. Vanity is unbecoming, and all that jazz. But, I don’t see myself as a vain person. I’m not perfect, and I am not everyone’s cup of tea. Here’s the thing: it’s perfectly acceptable to make yourself look nice within your own parameters. And, humans do a lot of non-verbal communication with their faces. My eyes and lashes are nice to look at, so I’ll make them pop if I want to. When I’m having a particularly drab day, I like running this mascara over my lashes. By doing this, my face appears softer and more welcoming, and I don’t mind catching a glimpse of myself when I pass by a mirror. This mascara is the bombdotcom and it’s vegan. Love love love it!

Carefully Curated Playlists
I’ve been told that I’m a music snob, as well as a walking Shazam. I wouldn’t call myself a music snob, just refined and well-versed. My music collection is vast and I don’t totally discriminate (unless it comes to horribly executed, mass marketed bubblegum pop). There are five playlists I have stored in my iTunes. Songs often get added, and some get nixed very rarely. These playlists speak to a multitude of moods and activities. Music plays a huge role in my life, as I grew up playing the violin, piano, and clarinet. In the very near future, I plan on taking up the ukulele and flute, as well as relearn the violin. Also, I would love very much to spend my days getting paid to create playlists for people. Dream job! Fun fact: Prince makes his way onto every playlist that I create.

Stretching
Every morning, I do a full body stretch before getting out of bed. I’ve made this a habit since high school, and, the older I get, the more essential this action is. Throughout the day, I take a minute or two to stretch different parts of my body, while taking deep breaths. Depression is a tough cookie a lot of the time, and taking care of my body can be a difficult task at times. But, the fact that I do this one small act for my body is a step in the right direction. This means that I am aware of my body and know that I should be listening to it.

Water
I am lucky to live in a part of the world that has clean water. Without it, living life would be really difficult. I love the fact that I have functioning plumbing, the ability to clean myself and my clothes whenever I need to, and water to drink and cook with. I keep a large Brita in my bedroom to ensure that I can hydrate myself whenever I need to. I also keep an electric kettle in my room in case I get a hankering for herbal tea at 1:20am. And, the most important why I love water is that if I don’t keep myself hydrated, my whole body goes out of whack, which is a disaster for my mental health. My digestive system and my brain love and need water.

Pillows
Between the ages of about 8 and 15, I hated pillows. I couldn’t sleep well with any kind of pillow under my head. But, now, I can’t get enough pillows. It’s an age thing, I’m sure of it. As I fall asleep, I love being propped up and supported, almost like I’m falling into a pit of pillows. Tuft & Needle have awesome pillows. They are expensive (at least, in my opinion), so I have only two right now. They are worth every penny, though. The most comfortable pillows I’ve ever used! Sleep is a key element to my mental and physical health. If I have awesome pillows, I’m going to sleep well. If I sleep well, I’m going to be happy. Such a simple concept!

So, here are a few of my creature comforts. Nope. Not sponsored by anyone. Hourglass and Tuft & Needle did not pay me to mention their stuff. They don’t even know how much I love their stuff! This love is coming from a very real and honest place.

What are some of your creature comforts?

New Adventures

Ellie MaeLeave a comment

Well, hello there!

It’s almost October, and you know what that means! Halloween is approaching. Everyone is gearing up, including getting out their cute autumnal clothes and chugging those dreaded Pumpkin Spice Lattes (can we say white gurl pumpkin spice wasted?).

We’re having a warm September here in the Bay Area, and I’ve been wishing the weather would cool off just a big and let autumn actually be autumnal. Nevertheless, I have a lot of knitting to be done, cute sweaters to buy, and books to curl up with.

I’ve been through a few changes this year, and those will be discussed over at Finding Love In Myself (my blog that deals with mental health, self care, etc.). But, I want to fill you in on the fun things that I plan on filling the rest of my year with!

Plan of Attack:

  • Knit beanies & ear warmers for friends and family, including a West Ham beanie for Dad.
  • Research DIY skincare and learn how to make my own bath bombs, bath salts, and other herbal bath time remedies.
  • Carve out 30-60 minutes a day for reading with a pot of yummy tea.
  • Share my crafty progress on blog, YouTube, and Instagram.

Y’all with me? Who wants to help keep me accountable?

Ciao for now, my lovelies! Enjoy your week.

 Nobody’s Perfect.

Ellie MaeLeave a comment

The thing about depression is that, while everyone experiences sadness and grief, those of us who are actually depressed get frustrated when people tell us it will pass. It often doesn’t. We’re lucky if we have one day in a long string of months in which we feel normal and can actually contribute to society in an acceptable manner. It’s also very frustrating when people are shocked when we actually seem genuinely happy. That diminishes our identities and is a huge hurdle we have to deal with.

I’ve known I’m not wired to be happy for two decades. Twenty years is a long time.

Here’s the thing: one can say that they don’t understand how anyone can be depressed. Well, those of us who struggle every single day to force a smile when we’re screaming on the inside can’t understand how people can be happy all the time. And, us depressed folk, we are highly functioning people. I’ve managed to stick around for twenty years. It’s been difficult, but I’ve made it work.

Describing depression isn’t an easy task. We all experience it in very unique ways. The general idea of it is the same, but we all cope with it in our own ways.

“Depression doesn’t define me.” and “I’m a real person with real value.” These two stand out. While depression is one of many parts of us, it isn’t who we are. We have plenty of things to offer this world. We are well aware of this. While it can often be challenging for some of us to be motivated to shine, we have the ability to. Instead of being stigmatized, we need to be loved equally.

There are great resources out there for those of us struggling with some sort of mental health spark. [I use the word spark, because issue, disease, and disorder each hold such negative connotation. Spark, for me, is a happy word. It is a motivating word in my life.]

If you live in a town or city with a public library, I highly suggest utilizing it. Depending on the town or city, there is usually a good selection of self-help books and books about mental health. Remember that not all self-help books are created equal. They often have a bad rap, but there are some great books out there, I promise! I suggest books on mindfulness, creativity, and other task based guides.

I know that it’s often difficult to find the strength or motivation to get up and move. But, movement really does help. If you live near a park, walk there with a book & some tea or coffee. Sit & read, breathe in some fresh air. Attempt to smile at three people. Then walk home. This helps me find some momentary peace.

If you are a college student, use the health services your school fees pay for. Many higher education have mental health services. They are staffed by a few licensed therapists (who are often professors at the school) and graduate students who are training to become therapists. It is an affordable way to get some counseling. If they don’t offer counseling, they are well connected to resources outside the school, and are able to assist you finding affordable therapy.

Also, research graduate schools in your area. Often graduate psychology programs will offer affordable group therapy or other affordable forms of care.

If you are religious, connecting with religious leaders are a great resource. They are usually trained to counsel individuals as well as lead a congregation. They are also able to direct you to proper venues for help.

My last suggestion is to search online for “affordable online therapy.” You’ll find a decent list of (legally operated) websites that offer counseling done online, usually through private chat or video.

I hope this helps everyone! This only scratches the surface, but it’s a start. If you know someone with a mental health spark, please educate yourself. If you experience a mental health spark yourself, I hope this motivates you to reach out for help.

Please remember that I am not a licensed therapist or doctor, nor do I have a Ph.D in psychology. I am speaking purely from my own experience. Always seek out the help of a licensed professional.