Graceful Affirmation

To be honest, thesaurus.com was my friend for the title of this post. I wanted something other than Gratitude, because I’m sure I have a post with that title already.

Right now, across the United States, gratitude is everywhere. If you’ve walked past or into a grocery store, it’s there, maniacally staring you down. Thanksgiving is just another day (that leads into a feverish weekend) for companies to maximize profits. Said companies are grateful for Thanksgiving’s creation of Black Friday.

There’s a point to this post, I promise.

The very notion of Thanksgiving (as a US holiday) has always been lost on me. First, I am not American. Even after living in the States most of my life, the concept of devoting one lone day to giving thanks baffles me. Second, the fact kids are still taught a warped version of the roots of this “holiday” is annoying. Third, Thanksgiving probably wouldn’t exist if Puritanical colonists fled England because they wanted to seperate from the Church of England.

I’m going to ask questions that, I’m sure, hundreds of thousands (if not more) of US residents ask every year:
Why not give thanks every day?
Why market just one day and why have it lead into a day of unnecessary chaos?

Sure, I am grateful that I have worked jobs that result in having a Thursday off. There are far too many people who don’t get that luxury. (Thank you everyone who has to work on all Federal holidays! I see you.) I’m grateful that I’ve worked some jobs who have paid me to not work on Thanksgiving.

The thing is, I feel that a lot of people forget that daily gratitude is a wonderful act. And, I’m sure many of these people could afford to practice daily gratitude.

In every therapy experience I’ve had, gratitude is always something that is brought up. I’ve been told by each therapist that one of my strengths is my ability to be open with my gratitude. My parents instilled manners in my brother and I when we were very young, and I am so grateful they did. My maternal grandparents embodied gratitude and grace, which (I like to think) rubbed off on me. I say “thank you” without thinking all the time.

My journey with depression started when I was about 12. That’s when I started menstrating. The root of my depression is biochemical, and there are multiple ways I manage it. With a special blend of Lexapro, writing, yoga, reading, walking, lots of veggies, a high quality multivitamin, extra magnesium, and making daily mental list of what I am grateful for, I am able to feel not so lousy most days. Some days, the depression is the only thing I can focus on. But, recently, those days are few and far between. On those days, I struggle to find anything that fosters a sense of gratitude. At the end of the day, I make myself write down three things. The list often looks something like this:

  • I am grateful for time spent with Miss Cleo. (She is my roommate’s cat, and she’s loves me.)
  • I am grateful for my legs. They allow me to move freely.
  • I am grateful for parents who care about me.

Three simple things, right? With a list like this, I am genuinely honoring myself, as well as positive people in my life.

During my 37 and a bit years on this planet, I’ve finally accepted the fact that is incredibly important to honor myself everyday, even if I feel like complete sh*t. Dwelling in the depression isn’t healthy. Saying, “hey depression, I see you, however, I love myself,” allows for a healthy(ish) mindset. Being grateful to be alive is a simple way of reminding myself that today is one day. I might lounge around and not do much. I might muster up enough energy to do one load of laundry. I might walk the perimeter of the apartment complex. The most important of those things is recognizing my emotional state and thanking myself for getting through another day.

So, here’s my hope for everyone as the year comes to an end:
May we all continue to learn the value of gratitude. May we all take a moment each day to take a deep breath and be grateful for something, no matter how tiny or enormous. May we give thanks every day.

2019 Reading Challenge

Howdy y’all!

It’s been a long time, and I’m kicking myself for putting the blog on the back burner. I have been writing, though!

One thing that I’m proud of myself for this year is recently imposing a reading challenge. Had I started at the beginning of the year, my goal would have been larger. However, I started at the beginning of July. My goal is to read 12 books between July 1st and December 31st. This is an extremely reasonable goal with two books a month. Who knows? I might read more than 12 books!

So far, I’ve finished two books and am in the middle of two books. The books I have finished are ‘Cut’ by Patricia McCormick and ‘Where Women Are Kings’ by Christie Watson. Both were interesting reads, however ‘Where Women Are Kings’ blew me away. I had never heard of the book or the author. One day, I was wandering the library, and this somewhat small blue book caught my eye. I read the description and was intrigued. I took a seat at a table and started to read. Twenty minutes later, I was hooked. Over the next week or so, I devoured the story. It is one about the foster care system, adoption, and family history. There is a book review post in the near future, I feel.

Currently, I am reading ‘How Not to Fall Apart’ by Maggy Van Eijk and ‘Sadie’ by Courtney Summers, both of which had been on my To Be Read list for a year. Updates will come once I am done with those.

After those? Who knows. I might restart the Harry Potter series, as I have only read through half of book five, and have only seen the first four movies. I desperately need to catch up and know that they will be easy reads. There are a lot of books I want and need to read, and I am glad I have found my love of reading that was lost for quite some time.

If you’d like, please follow me on GoodReads! I love connecting with people, as well as getting recommendations on what my next read should be.

Little Things

We all have our little comforts in life. You know, those things that make your day just a little more doable and joyful. These can vary throughout a year, and they should, as change is good.

A few weeks ago, my therapist gave me a really simple task to do every day. This is something that a lot of people already do, whether it be in writing or through prayer or in conversation with people they share their lives with.

Write Down Everything You Are Grateful For That Day.

Super simple and easy, right?

I started off with a bang. For a week, I made a note of things that I was grateful for. Of course, the habit didn’t stick. But, I have been taking gratitude mental notes everyday! Not an entirely wasted task to do.

But, this blog post is about little things that make me happy, therefore are worthy of gratitude. Enjoy the ride!

Hourglass Caution Extreme Mascara
Yes, sure, this is a beauty product. Vanity is unbecoming, and all that jazz. But, I don’t see myself as a vain person. I’m not perfect, and I am not everyone’s cup of tea. Here’s the thing: it’s perfectly acceptable to make yourself look nice within your own parameters. And, humans do a lot of non-verbal communication with their faces. My eyes and lashes are nice to look at, so I’ll make them pop if I want to. When I’m having a particularly drab day, I like running this mascara over my lashes. By doing this, my face appears softer and more welcoming, and I don’t mind catching a glimpse of myself when I pass by a mirror. This mascara is the bombdotcom and it’s vegan. Love love love it!

Carefully Curated Playlists
I’ve been told that I’m a music snob, as well as a walking Shazam. I wouldn’t call myself a music snob, just refined and well-versed. My music collection is vast and I don’t totally discriminate (unless it comes to horribly executed, mass marketed bubblegum pop). There are five playlists I have stored in my iTunes. Songs often get added, and some get nixed very rarely. These playlists speak to a multitude of moods and activities. Music plays a huge role in my life, as I grew up playing the violin, piano, and clarinet. In the very near future, I plan on taking up the ukulele and flute, as well as relearn the violin. Also, I would love very much to spend my days getting paid to create playlists for people. Dream job! Fun fact: Prince makes his way onto every playlist that I create.

Stretching
Every morning, I do a full body stretch before getting out of bed. I’ve made this a habit since high school, and, the older I get, the more essential this action is. Throughout the day, I take a minute or two to stretch different parts of my body, while taking deep breaths. Depression is a tough cookie a lot of the time, and taking care of my body can be a difficult task at times. But, the fact that I do this one small act for my body is a step in the right direction. This means that I am aware of my body and know that I should be listening to it.

Water
I am lucky to live in a part of the world that has clean water. Without it, living life would be really difficult. I love the fact that I have functioning plumbing, the ability to clean myself and my clothes whenever I need to, and water to drink and cook with. I keep a large Brita in my bedroom to ensure that I can hydrate myself whenever I need to. I also keep an electric kettle in my room in case I get a hankering for herbal tea at 1:20am. And, the most important why I love water is that if I don’t keep myself hydrated, my whole body goes out of whack, which is a disaster for my mental health. My digestive system and my brain love and need water.

Pillows
Between the ages of about 8 and 15, I hated pillows. I couldn’t sleep well with any kind of pillow under my head. But, now, I can’t get enough pillows. It’s an age thing, I’m sure of it. As I fall asleep, I love being propped up and supported, almost like I’m falling into a pit of pillows. Tuft & Needle have awesome pillows. They are expensive (at least, in my opinion), so I have only two right now. They are worth every penny, though. The most comfortable pillows I’ve ever used! Sleep is a key element to my mental and physical health. If I have awesome pillows, I’m going to sleep well. If I sleep well, I’m going to be happy. Such a simple concept!

So, here are a few of my creature comforts. Nope. Not sponsored by anyone. Hourglass and Tuft & Needle did not pay me to mention their stuff. They don’t even know how much I love their stuff! This love is coming from a very real and honest place.

What are some of your creature comforts?

New Adventures

Well, hello there!

It’s almost October, and you know what that means! Halloween is approaching. Everyone is gearing up, including getting out their cute autumnal clothes and chugging those dreaded Pumpkin Spice Lattes (can we say white gurl pumpkin spice wasted?).

We’re having a warm September here in the Bay Area, and I’ve been wishing the weather would cool off just a big and let autumn actually be autumnal. Nevertheless, I have a lot of knitting to be done, cute sweaters to buy, and books to curl up with.

I’ve been through a few changes this year, and those will be discussed over at Finding Love In Myself (my blog that deals with mental health, self care, etc.). But, I want to fill you in on the fun things that I plan on filling the rest of my year with!

Plan of Attack:

  • Knit beanies & ear warmers for friends and family, including a West Ham beanie for Dad.
  • Research DIY skincare and learn how to make my own bath bombs, bath salts, and other herbal bath time remedies.
  • Carve out 30-60 minutes a day for reading with a pot of yummy tea.
  • Share my crafty progress on blog, YouTube, and Instagram.

Y’all with me? Who wants to help keep me accountable?

Ciao for now, my lovelies! Enjoy your week.

2017: My Year So Far

It’s been awhile, and I am certainly not maintaining this blog very well. Many apologies!

As many of you are well aware, 2017 has been an interesting and trying time for the US (and the world, tbh). I have been trying my best to keep my head up and be a positive member of my community. But, that’s really exhausting some days.

Waking up to news of hate, violence, and someone who isn’t fit for their job? This is not a world I want to be a part of. And, any of you with a head and a heart probably feel the same.

With that said, I want to share some of the positives that have happened in my world this year.

  1. My cousin had a baby, and he is absolutely adorable. I haven’t met him, as they live across the pond.
  2. People I know and love are expecting babies this year. I’m proud of all of them, especially as I know that they are bringing humans into the world who are going to be compassionate, kind, smart, and strong.
  3. My beloved 1999 Subaru is out of steam. She’s done. Because neighbors can be wonderful, in an effort to make life easy for everyone, I purchased my neighbor’s 2006 lightly driven PT Cruiser. This saved me money, took a car off our neighbor’s hands, and taken some stress out of my life.
  4. I took myself on vacation to Maui in April. I needed a week to be by myself and far away from work. I needed to swim in an ocean for hours at a time. I needed to relax and decompress. I loved being there and didn’t want to leave.
  5. I have been walking regularly. Again, I thrive when I have time by myself. These walks are great for listening to the hundreds of podcast episodes I have saved. I’m using my legs and taking care of my body.
  6. Finally, I took back control of my body and have been eating well. Along with the regular walking, my body has let go of the extra weight it was carrying around. I am feeling healthier and we’ll. I feel empowered and ready to take on the world, even if I am taking baby steps.
  7. After not reading, I am back into it. I plan on making a huge dent in my bookshelf by the end of the year. With all the reading, A Life In Paperback will start to be updated regularly.

Very soon, I am going to do some updated favorites posts (podcasts, skincare, makeup, movies, TV shows, music).

In the meantime, I am going to be working at my 9-5 while looking for new, more fulfilling work.

Ciao readers! Be well!

She Stands Alone

Here’s a few facts about me: I’m approaching 35, I’m single, I don’t have any children, I identify as a cisgendered woman, I love cats (and appreciate dogs that are genetically coded to herd or rescue), and I am not ashamed of any of these.

Many single, childfree women of a certain age, particularly those who love cats, have such a bad reputation. Trust me. I am reminded of this constantly. In fact, something that always makes me laugh is when I politely turn down men I feel are not good matches for me, I often get such hate filled responses. These usually manage to include “no wonder why you’re still single; I bet you have ten cats and knit in your spare time.” These responses always clue me in even further to the fact that these men have not read a word of my dating profiles (that mention the most feminine thing I’ll do in my spare time take a long bath after an even longer run). Let me clarify, I love people who have ten cats and knit. You are giving ten adorable souls a home, and you are able to make your own clothes. I admire anyone who does both.

So, here I am, celebrating all you single women, cis or trans, especially those of you who are in your 30s (or older and wiser). I salute each and every one of you. Keep doing you, and whenever someone asks “when are you having kids?” or “you have 10 cats, right,” go ahead and tell them “Imma do me and don’t you fret about my choices, kthxbai.”

Let is rise up and celebrate each other. Let’s care for and support each other. If you witness a woman’s choices being judged and torn apart, be a voice of reason and love.

Vegan 101: Favorite Skincare

Often times, we forget that our skin is our largest organ and needs just as much love as our internal organs. I’ll be honest, I don’t have a specific daily routine when it comes to my skincare, especially as my days are never the same. For the most part, I take great care of my skin and am sure to slap some SPF on if I know I’m going to be outside longer than 20 minutes. No one is perfect, nor do I expect anyone to be.

Grandmothers, aunts, and mothers were all very correct in saying “you are what you eat.” The care you give your body often is very visible on your skin, in your eyes, and in your hair. Sure, a small group of people are lucky enough to eat horribly processed food and still look great, but most of us aren’t so lucky.

Being mindful of what we put in our bodies is a great way of ensuring our skin, eyes, nails, and hair will be happy. I’m not saying that eating vegan will solve your acne or dry skin or brittle nails. [Trust me, I am not a nutritionist, dietician, or doctor. Please consult a licensed professional if you plan on completely revamp your diet.] If you cannot forgo eating animals & their byproducts, the best thing you can do is limit your red meat, poultry, & pork, and focus more on omega rich seafood and eggs (including the yolk). Not only will your skin, hair, & nails appreciate you, your eyes & heart will as well.

As I choose not to eat any animal byproducts, I have to find other ways of getting great nutrition. I’m a fan of whole grains other than wheat, a variety of nuts (I make my own trail mix with raw nuts, dairy free dark chocolate, & salt), lentils & legumes, dense vegetables & dark, leafy greens, and lots of water. And, I pop a vegan Vitamin D, a vegan prenatal multivitamin (no, I’m not trying to get pregnant), and a vegan B-complex pill every day to ensure all my bases are covered. The nice thing about B vitamins is that any excess is secreted out through urine, so it is almost impossible to overdose on B vitamins. And, I do have days where I forget to take my supplements, so I’m never concerned about excess vitamins flowing through my body. Some people ask why I never take an iron supplement if I don’t eat meat. Simply put: I was only borderline anemic once in my life, and that was when I was about 12 or 13. Puberty & my menstrual cycle hit me really hard & at this time, I had started cutting out meat. My body was just adjusting. Since then, my iron levels have been very impressive (and frankly, often shocking) to everyone who has ever drawn my blood & done labs on my blood & any doctor who has evaluated my blood. I attribute my iron rich blood to the fact I love lentils & spinach.

Anyway, aside from eating for great skin, what one puts on their skin is important. I’m not about bashing skincare/cosmetics companies that aren’t considered vegan. I just like knowing that what I’m putting on my skin doesn’t have any animal byproducts in it. [I’m going to admit right now that, as I’m not perfect, I’m still using up a lot of stuff that I have which isn’t vegan solely based on the fact they have beeswax or honey in them.] When a company puts vegan on their label, that usually means that, by default, they are cruelty free. That’s what I hope, at least.

Here are some of my favorite skincare brands that are primarily or 100% Vegan (all are 100% cruelty free):

  1. Andalou NaturalsΒ [Please consult their FAQ page for their nonvegan products.]
  2. 100% Pure
  3. Schmidt’s Deodorant
  4. Tata Harper
  5. Acure Organics
  6. Herbivore Botanicals
  7. Yes To
  8. Juice Beauty

Currently, I am using products from Andalou, Yes To, Herbivore Botanicals, and, of course, trusty ol’ Schmidt’s Deodorant (it really is the best natural deodorant out there). I do mix up my routine sometimes, but right now, I’ve got a good thing going. [I’ll do an updated skincare routine very soon.]

Please not that this list is far from complete, and reflects brands I choose to use for my own skincare. Let google be your proverbial oyster (can we use pea, instead?). Some of the brands listed are budget friendly, others are expensive.

Here are some awesome resources for more comprehensive lists of cruelty free/vegan beauty brands:

  1. Cruelty Free Kitty
  2. PETA’s List
  3. The Organic Bunny
  4. Beauty By Britanie